Being in Malu’s Squatty, Well-manicured Toes

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I promised myself that I would never write a post about Malu Fernandez and her witty and funny article in Manila Standard. I thought that I could content myself in responding to other blogs and ditching her there. I didn’t think it important to waste a post or a space to such an elitist swine but the temptation to roast her alive in my page is a really sweet idea for me.

Honestly I couldn’t blame her. I pity her for having bruises on her legs, for having been ’sardined’ and pestered in the economy class with the Pinoy OFWs. You couldn’t blame a fat git for not being able to sit comfortably in a chair specifically made for Homo sapiens. Being witty and all, did she think she could fit herself in that puny place? Of course not. That’s why I think she has only been in the first class section all her life.

I need to apologize to Malu as well. I need to say sorry for being poor and underprivileged. Because unlike some members of the elite class in this 3rd world country, we spend half our lives studying and doing honest labor and service to society. Unlike her lot, we need to study so freaking hard and think that by doing great in school, we are guaranteed of jobs to help us and our families in the future. Unlike her, we know the true value of work and being smart. I am sorry that her ideas of being ‘witty and smart‘ mean to deride other people or worse, ridicule them of their socio-economic background. But again, being witty and smart, she should have known better than to insult her countrymen.

Malu’s response to the FEW emails her editor had:

As I type this, I’d like you to know that it’s not about whining, complaining and bitching but just stating the facts. Just recently, I wrote a funny article in my magazine column and my friends thought it was hilarious. It was humorous and quite tongue-in-cheek, or at least I thought so, until the magazine got a few e-mails from people who didn’t get the meaning of my acerbic wit. The bottom line was just that I had offended the reader’s socioeconomic background. If any of these people actually read anything thicker then a magazine they would find it very funny. Most people don’t get the fact that they need bitches like me to shake up their world, otherwise their lives would be boring and mediocre. I obviously write for the a certain target audience and if what I write offends you, just stop reading.

She’s not a dog, she’s a pig! Goodness me!

And what is this that she writes for a certain target audience? What the fuck does she mean by that? Is this female hog trying to imply that only the filthy rich could understand her wit and tongue-in-cheek humor? If that’s the case, then I think it’s safe to say that those who understand her are idiots and ungrateful bastards. And I’ve always thought the rich are supposed to be well-educated.

Here’s another of her responses:

Although it may sound elitist to you the fact is this country is built on the foundation of haves, have-nots and wannabes. One group will never get the culture of the other. Although I could mention that it is easier to understand someone who has a lower socioeconomic background that would entail a whole other page and frankly I don’t want to be someone to bridge the gap between socioeconomic classes. I leave that to the politicians in my family who believe they can actually help. Now I seriously ask you, am I being a diva or are people around me just lacking in common sense? Perhaps it’s a little of both!

For one thing, we, in the lower socioeconomic classes, will never be bigots. Second, we have common sense and she doesn’t (and will probably never have it)and third, we do not need a monster boar like her to tell us distorted facts about this country.

We do not need Malu or her fucking tainted views. It’s people like her who do further damage to our society: all they do is mock, brag about their money and step on other people. They don’t really care what happens to ALL of us, they only seek to glorify themselves.

If I was her editor, I would never have printed her article. Or does she and her editor share the same twisted view? Well, roast them both. I’m not even glad she got sacked, why not condemn her and her kind all the same. The amount of attention she’ got due to her irresponsible writing and garbage ideals is almost too much. Initially, I didn’t want to write a post about her because it would give her more exposure (for whatever purposes she might need it) but what the heck, I still did.

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