Sexual Innuendos

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I hate it when people inject meaning to an otherwise normal and decent conversation. It’s like they purposely sniff out ‘hidden’ messages in your words when in fact, you mean nothing of that sort. The worst part of it is when they smile at you and you start to notice that sleezy sparkle in their eyes that says, “Hey”.

CASE 1: Lunch time at a local Carinderia
Tindero: Miss, ano sa ‘yo? (Miss, what will it be?)
Miss: Shanghai po with rice. (Springrolls with rice)
The tindero prepares the order and hands it out.
Tindero: Ito na Miss. (Here you go, Miss)
Miss checks out how many ketchup packs were placed in her order.
Miss: Kuya, pahingi pa po ng isang ketchup. Ang laki po kasi ng shaghai. (Can I have another ketchup pack? You have a big serving of springrolls.)
Tindero smiles.

CASE 2: A friend is wearing a pink t-shirt with a huge strawberry cake design.
Girl Friend: Eow, kadiri ka talaga! Tama na nga yang yosi mo! (Yuck. Stop smoking!)
Guy Friend: Wag kang makialam pwede. (Mind your own business)
Girl Friend: Kaya ka bad breath eh. (That’s the reason why you have bad breath)
Guy Friend: Yabang mo, kainin kita dyan eh. (I’ll eat you if won’t stop yapping)

CASE 3: At a videoke place.
Guy: Sinong gustong mauna? (Who wants to go first?)
Girl: Ako na! Akin na mic mo. (Me! Give me your microphone)

CASE 4: Merienda at the tambayan.
Brod: Grabe gutom na ko! (Geez, Im hungry!)
Sis: O kain na. Ubos na yung Nova ko e. Ito na lang mani. (Here, have this. I’ve already eaten my Nova snack. I only have these peanuts.)
Brod: Penge nga ng mani mo. (Can I have some of your peanuts?)

So everyone, please be careful.

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