Christmas Curse

Every year, December 24th is my favorite time of the year, apart from my birthday and New Year’s Day, while Christmas is the most traumatic, most chaotic day for me. While everyone is busy buying gifts for their inaanak and pamangkin two to three weeks before the 25th, my whole family is going nuts just planning where we’ll spend Christmas up until the 27th. This family ‘tradition’ of going off somewhere on Christmas started just a couple of years back when  my sister and I realized the sort of stress my mom goes through every year when my dad’s tianak-like inaanaks and pamangkins come to invade our house.

 Before 

When we were kids, my mom and my dad never peddled us to our Ninongs and Ninangs or even to our Lolos and Lolas to have Pamasko. We never had to ‘beg’ or make pa-cute for money and gifts because as my mom always put it,

“Don’t ask other people for things your dad and I can give you.”

My parents hated the idea of merchadising us especially during the holidays, much more force our relatives to cough up gifts or money for us. If our relatives can remember us, that’s good. If they want to give us anything, that’s better. If they want to visit us and bring us something, that’ll be even better. My parents taught us at an early age that Christmas isn’t just about receiving gifts and eating sweet cakes and three-flavored ice creams: it was about being with family and the people you care about the most to celebrate the birth of Jesus. My parents never indulged us with the superficial aspects of Christmas; they were always honest and direct, like the way they are with everything. Although we love the gift-giving part and parties, anything excess to the essential idea behind the holiday is considered trivial.

Problem

My dad is like a big local version of Santa Claus amongst his clan. Every year, his list of inaanak sa kasal and godchildren would increase ten fold even without his knowledge. Like if a son of his inaanak would have a cousin and that cousin would have a son, the son would be an automatic addition to my dad’s list. In essence, everyone, even the most distant and unheard of relatives in his clan, would come to our house every year to have Pamasko. At first it was okay but as the years went on, the number of kids who come to us have tripled! I’m talking at least 20 kids ‘PER BATCH’ from one side of his clan and another 20+ kids from another and so on. We don’t even know who their parents are anymore! To make things more confusing, even the kids from the different batches don’t know they’re related! And some of the kids aren’t kids anymore; some are into their teens e.g. 15-19 years old!

Some years back, we would of course offer food and talk to them to know them a bit apart from the Pamasko my dad always gave them. But lately, these kids would bang our gates if we don’t attend to them immediately, play endlessly with our buzzer or let themselves in without any warning. Worse, they don’t want to talk to us anymore, they just want the money! And WORST, they’ve evolved to become more choosy with the color of money my dad gives them:

• Orange = 20 php 
• Pula = 50 php
• Violet = 100 php
• Green = 200 php
• Gold = 500 php
• Blue = 1K

The young ones are content with the red, older kids want the green or gold while the 15-19 range want the blue! They have the nerve to frown and ask that my dad change the amount to what they want! How could these kids be so bratty?! My parents would always argue about how uncontrollable these kids have become and how my dad always went easy on them. So our solution was to just give Pamasko PER FAMILY which was usually boxes of brownies or cakes or the notorious Noche Buena bundle you buy in the supermarket. In that way, the whole family would benefit from it. 

We thought we had the perfect solution but the kids never stopped coming. Damn it, we were being extorted! Harassed! And my dad’s clan don’t even reprimand their kids’ rowdy behaviour!

Thankfully, my mom’s side had always been ‘civil and just’. In their side, we observe the give and take relationship. Every year they’d have a get-together and each family would bring their share of food and stuff to give away to everyone. This way is so much fun and totally stress relieving. I mean, not only do I get to talk to my relatives, we even have a party! 

Today

After years of torment, we decided that to escape and hide is the only way we could have a very merry Christmas. So for the past three years, we’ve been retreating outside the city to enjoy the holiday usually from the 24th to the 27th. We distribute the per family Pamasko on the 23rd and away we go the next day. Of course the kids would return to our house on the 27th and ask for their individual Pamasko but this time, the amount my dad gives them is non-negotiable even for the older kids. In time, we hope that this rather irritating and abusive tradition of extortion in the form of Pamamasko will be observed in a more tasteful manner and in moderation.