Medicine is like a monster that eats flesh: the sort that eats everything and leaves nothing behind, no bones nor clothing. It devours all your capacities but even then, it still wants more. It haunts you in your sleep, while you eat , when you breathe, and even as you walk or talk. If you try to run from it, it will come to you more swiftly than the wind: there is no escaping it. And even if you deny it, it becomes a part you.
Medicine brings about paranoia when exams draw near or when you receive your grade in a small and gray sheet of paper. The moment you get your hands on it, a surge of mixed emotions will cause your heart to pump blood thrice as fast. In a matter of minutes, you would go from pale to red and your instincts tell you to tear the paper at once. But when your eyes scroll away from the major subjects, the minors save the day and you put off tearing it to a another day. Once your heart rate becomes normal again, you realize that the red markings in your majors are not as bad as you thought. This time, you sigh and you decide to keep the paper for real.
Until the next exam that is.
Medicine demands time and the patience to learn its secrets. More so, it also needs someone who is willing to go through hell just to carry its name. It needs someone with a desire to learn and an even braver soul willing enough to undergo drastic remodeling from a student to a healer and scientist. It needs someone with a heart, most of all, and the dedication to humanitarian service.
And for that, I hope that medicine will find me able.
2 Comments
October 26, 2009 at 9:02 pm
nobody promised you a rose garden. of course, medical school is tough and it’s only going to be tougher. but you can handle it. it’s your heart that will make you through.
if you feel challenge now, the more you’ll feel challenged when you start your career. when you come to think of it, no profession comes easy. those who pay the big bucks will make sure of that. they’ll always demand that you do your job better, faster, and cheaper.
in medicine, however, it could be a matter of life and death. that makes your profession more intimidating and not for the faint of heart.
in programming, we have this motto: when you’re facing a wall, try getting over it. if it’s not possible, keep hitting it with your head until it gives in or you lose your head.
well, that’ll probably not work in your case. how about handling your concerns one step at a time?
as mj said to spider-man at the end of the spider-man 2 movie, “go get ‘em, tiger!”
October 29, 2009 at 4:51 pm
my mantra for med school was “this too shall pass”… i summon this one whenever i get so afraid of 1) exam results, 2) endorsements, 3) orals, 4) endorsements again, and 5) toxic duties. hehehe
good luck nins!